Date Night Boundaries / by Aimee Enlow


Okay. I know this sounds more like a video game than a date night how-to. But in reality, it is one of the most important things you can do when you are trying to prioritize date night with your spouse.

Having a weekly date night is absolutely essential to a healthy marriage. Like brushing your teeth is essential to healthy teeth. And actually, brushing your teeth is pretty important for a healthy marriage. But that’s another blog.

Just carving out a time for date night is a small victory. But setting aside time to date only gets you halfway to the goal. Now it’s time to focus on how you spend those precious, valuable moments together.

Setting boundaries in life are important. Setting boundaries for date night are imperative. Boundaries for date night can be the difference in accomplishing a great night of connection or ending the night in crumbling defeat. Here are some ideas to ensure date night success!

This is not the time to rehash last night’s argument. Before you leave for your date, do what you need to do with whatever is between you. Apologize. Agree to disagree. Call a truce. Whatever it takes to put the barriers to connection behind you.

This is not the time to discuss unpleasant issues regarding children. In fact, this is not the time to discuss children. Period. If you must debrief about anything related to your children, set a time limit and a timer. When the timer goes off, the discussion is over. This is a night for your marriage, not your children. And ask any family therapist. A healthy marriage is the best thing for your children.

Have some fun topics already in mind for conversation. Remember when you were dating? You talked about everything. Hopes and dreams. Excitement and anticipation of the future. So instead of letting the talk of finances and yard work dominate your conversation, why not spend your energy dreaming about your next vacation. And I mean the one without kids. Share your passions in life. Answer the question, “If I could work for free, what would I do?” Light and fun. That’s the goal.

Try something new together. I read one time that learning something new causes your brain to release the same chemical as when you’re falling in love. So, do it! Get a crush on your husband all over again! Brainstorm with your mate to uncover something you’ve always wanted to do. Rock-climbing. Indoor sky-diving. Outdoor sky-diving. Ballroom dance lessons. Attending a gourmet cooking class together. Painting. Be creative. And on that note …

Try a new restaurant.  What country would you like to visit? Find a restaurant that serves that cuisine and take a mini-vacation for dinner. Might be a great time to plan the trip, whether real or imaginary!

Setting boundaries may sound like work. And it sort of is, until you get used to it. Then you won’t want to date any other way.

No go have some fun together!